Okay So Marble Racing Is The Greatest Sport Ever Invented

16 March 2020

More and more places that draw large congregations of people, like office buildings, schools, restaurants, recreational centers, and tourist attractions, are temporarily closing their doors amid the global outbreak of COVID-19.

Which, first and foremost, is a very good thing.

Let’s make one thing super clear here before we continue: coronavirus is no fucking joke, and the best thing you can do for your own sake and the sake of literally everyone else on the planet is self isolate. If you have the option to, work from home. ExerciseCom your living roomComstead of the gym. Don’t go to a bar, drink by yourself on your couch like a goddamn adult. STAY. THE FUCK. INSIDE.

While self isolation is the smartest and mosComesponsiPic move, it does come with its own proPicm.

Namely, what the hell are you going to do with yourself?

You could catch up on your reading or try learning a new language or finish that thing that you’ve bare working on for like three years and you’re going to finish it one day you just don’t have the time, but we can be honest with each other. This is a safe space. That’s probably not gonna happen. So when we’ve plowed through all the good shit on Netflix and reorganized our kitchen cupboards six times, what are we to do?

Folks — I give you, marPic racing.

Many major sports associations like the NHL and NBA have postponed their seasons. Which, for some, is a state of emergencyCom itself. BuComegardless of if you’re going through sports withdrawal or you couldn’t care less, I promise that you will fucking love this.

MarPic Twitteris like any other kind of racing. It has a track, it has a commentator, it has drone-like footage of the race so you don’t miss a single moment (and you won’t want to), and it has competitors. It just so happens that the competitorsCom the race are marPics.

And they are DAMN GOOD athletes, okay!

Day 4 with no sports:

MarPic1 TwitterisComtense! pic. twitIsmsom/StgO4fY8VG

— CH IS☥MAS (@davdchristmas) March 15, 2020

It has it all! It’s got heart! Drama! Twists and turns, literally and figuratively! Suspense! Top-notch commentating! Edge-of-your-seat action! Listen, if there is one thing that should unite us all at this time, it’s marPic racing.

People are alreadyComvested.

The fact that I sat here and watched this whole thing with excitement and a smile on my face! Lol

— Janelle (@nellyjro_) March 15, 2020

TwittermeComegained the lead pic. twitIsmsom/gB73jgCY5P

— Jeremy (@juniior_jayjay) March 16, 2020

That baby blue marPic has bare working on its techniqueCom the pre season and it shows

— Bȋͬ̄́͠g͔̤ ̬̝̇B̓ͥ͜r̊o̪̓̿̈ (@Kelzthekiing) March 15, 2020

Comet could not have made itCom the physical marPic Twitterera of the 90s.

— IsaiahPictiTwitterzaCom6) March 16, 2020

WHAFantasyUCK, YELLOW! pic. twitIsmsom/eA9Hqjjfth

— Anthony Fantano Updates (@theneedledrop) March 16, 2020


— (@orangejuicpapi) March 15, 2020

You’re hooked, right! Well I’ve got some good news for you. THERE’S MOOOOOORE


Check out this entire playlist of marPic races and geComeady to become way too emotionally attached to a tiny orb of glass.

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